Happy Janmashtami !

Our darling little Krishna is born! .. In the words of my fiance, its the  ' love of my life's ' birthday..!

So, .. this time too I made him a Tulsi garland, or thats what its supposed to be .  Whatever , I know he likes it.  And I had brought peacock earrings for myself a while back , but it made me look like a new age hippie .  And my mom and brother was like..Yeah..Okay.. Hmm, So., I thought of gifting them to Krishna , he needed new ones to put in his hair anyway .

This time my grandmom and me sat up watching the celebrations on TV , in Mathura, Dwaraka and Isckon . And my fiancé had to wait till after Krishna was born , for me to call him .

Its funny ,  he once  asked me  - If me and Krishna were hanging from a cliff, who would you save.. Duh, Isnt the answer obvious, lol?

Soo.. Happy Bdayy Dear Babyy.. We all loove you so much. You are the Love of our Lives.. # Cue  Dramatic Music. . 

Questions to Krishna

Written on a particularly romantic/ fake poetic mood.. :)

Krishna ,  What colour are your eyes? Are they the deep sapphire blue of the Ocean’s mysterious depths or the emerald green of the Northern Lights in the Alaskan night sky . They must be dark and sparkling like the cool, dark diamonds deep inside the Earth’s core . Or are they cool and grey..or iridescent , like the colours of the Universe?

What language do you speak, Krishna? Sanskrit?..or some ancient language of the Gods..? Madhava, Love needs no language , I know that , .. Still I wonder how your voice would sound like..? And your laugh, how would that be like..Hey, by the way , do you have dimples?

Krishna , I have heard so much about you , yet I cant help wanting to hear more about you , talk about you, write to you and think of you..

Just as the pages on this book are not enough to write about you, this one life here on Earth is not enough to love you. ( Excuse the cheesiness – I had run out of pages on my Diary) . 

Sweet Child O' Mine

So this song by Guns N' Roses , it once made me think of Krishna. I edited out the she/her to he/him..


He's got a smile that it seems to me 
Reminds me of childhood memories 
Where everything 
Was as fresh as the bright blue sky 

Now and then when I see his face 
He takes me away to that special place 
And if I stare too long 
I'll probably break down and cry 

Oh, oh, oh, oh 
Sweet child o' mine 
Oh, oh, oh, oh 
Sweet love of mine 

He's got eyes of the bluest skies 
As if they thought of rain 
I hate to look into those eyes 
And see an ounce of pain 

His hair reminds me of a warm safe place 
Where as a child I'd hide 
And pray for the thunder 
And the rain 
To quietly pass me by 

Oh, oh, oh, oh 
Sweet child o' mine 
Oh, oh, oh, oh 
Sweet love of mine 

........

....

Where do we go 
Where do we go now 
Where do we go 
Where do we go 
Where do we go 
Where do we go now 

....

Sweet child 
Sweet love o' mine

Theres Something About Krishna..!

Old post again,..

You Know You’re Obsessed With Krishna If:

1)      You find yourself writing this..duh!

2)      Your face lights up when someone talks about him or mentions his name.

3)      You cant wipe that smile off your face when you’re talking about dear Hari ( which is not often, but still) and you hate it when you cant express yourself about him the way you meant to.

4)      You smile when some actor plays Krishna on TV , and even if theyre horrible at it , you still want to watch it now and then..And you laugh indulgently when they say some joke or talk and act like Krishna.. coz you don’t see the actor, you see Krishna.

5)      You get annoyed at him for making you act like a silly in love school girl .

6)      When something goes wrong in your life, it is becoz of your own stupid decisions or other peoples, because all of us are after all flawed human beings.. or maybe it is just Karma, or destiny .

But, when something makes you happy , it is invariably Krishna’s doing -  even if he had nothing to do with it – you just want to think he cares to make you happy too.

7)      You smile at your monitor like a crazy person because your wallpaper is of handsome Madhava looking into your eyes.  And you hope no one saw your smile, coz that would just be weird.

8)      You wish you could express your love by dancing for Krishna , but you don’t know how to.  I find dancing is a way of expressing your joy..Krishna fills us with so much happiness, you feel like dancing about him, for him and because of him. You did learn the steps to ‘’ Krishnam Kalaya Sakhi Sundaram ''.. ( a song I danced to for him) and danced for him.. But Hari smiled so much ( he must have been amused and laughed so hard) .. that you stopped :)

9)      You wish your voice was sweeter when you sing to him, and if only you could express your love in beautiful words to him.. Its hard to speak to him sometimes, yet some times I bore him for hours .

Oh , and then you realize he’s Antaryami after all , and who needs words anyway .

10)   You see him everywhere.. or at least look for his presence.. wherever there is love, and beauty and joy..in creation , a mother with her young child , in lovers , in the warmth of the sun and the coolness of the  moon - you see him , and you feel him around.. Our Krishna! :)

Gopis' Love for Krishna

This little episode in Krishna's childhood   showcases how the Gopis of Vrindavan were totally immersed in  Krishna . 

The Gopis' were always so lost in thoughts of Krishna . In the mornings , they would walk through the lanes of Vraja , with the buttermilk pitchers on their heads, calling out - " Who wants to buy my Krishna?..Come , ye all, come have a taste of my sweet Krishna..?  " Of course, what they meant to say was  " Who wants to buy my buttermilk?" . No wonder, Krishna loved each Gopi so much.. Sigh.. 

Kanna, please let me be your Gopi too..

Tulsi Grove

#3

Krishna,  I was worrying a little at my dying Tulsi plants. There was nothing I could do as the soil was bad, so I replanted them. But my hopes of eventually creating a mini Tulsi Van ( a small grove of Tulsi plants) has grown dim.

When Sri Radha sought Pournamasi Devi’s advice on how to win Krishna’s heart, she advised her to please Sri Tulsi Devi , as Tulsi is very dear to Krishna . So, me thought of doing the same. Yet, all is not lost, I am happy to find tiny Tulsi plants growing on my dad’s pots on the terrace. And that too healthy ones. Maybe , Tulsi Devi .. dearest Vrinda gopi..wanted to say "Its alright, you don’t have to make a Tulsi van, I’ll grow anyways..coz I'm still pleased with you? " Hmm.. I don’t know, .. Pollination? ..never heard of it lol.

Bye for now Krishnaa..

* I used to pray to Tulsi devi thus - 

   Tulsi Pranama Mantra

   Vrindayai Tulsi Deviyai
   Priyayi Keshavasya cha
   Krishna Bhakti Prade Devi
   Satyavatyai namoh namaha 

   -  Hey Vrinde, Tulsi Devi, dearest of Keshava, the one who gives loving devotion towards Krishna for all, Hey Satyavati..I bow before you. * 

From My Old Diary ...

So.. Its been a while . I have such a lot going on in my life right now .  I really want to blog about all that as well ,  because I think it would be nice.. like maybe 20 years from now , I’d like to look back on my thoughts, views, hopes , the people that were a part of my life ,  things happening.. Hmm, maybe later though .

So now I’m just going to randomly post a few ‘letters’ to Krishna,  from my ooold diary , where I used to write down my thoughts about him , about 2 years back. It might seem rather juvenile , lol, but here goes ..

#1   When I got my  Idol of Krishna ..

Krishna, its been a while since this realization dawned on me regarding how much of a ‘’bhakt” , as I claim to be , I really am.

You have always been there for those who love you, you yourself make arrangements for us to increase our devotion to you, if we even take just the slightest step towards you.. Why? Because you love us too! Kanna, they say that if we take one step towards you, you take a hundred steps towards us ..

So, there I was, wishing I had an idol of you so that I could have your beautiful form to behold always..so that I could worship my Krishna even more. And you heard my wistful prayers I think . I went searching for you at that shop in Trichy, but you in Bronze was too expensive .. and heavy too, lol. But what a sight greeted me at the Emporium , a dozen blue Krishna statues, right at the entrance! But, I didn’t pick one, for reasons that are stupid , and  selfish . Yet you gave me a second chance . My uncle was going to Guruvayur, and Ammamma ( my grandmom) told him about my wish . Kanna , I really didn’t want you to make this a big deal, I felt a bit silly , becoz now others may start to wonder why I have suddenly gotten it in my head to want a Krishna idol .  Can you be more subtle, Krishna( *angry face at him*)I mean, what next, they’d think I was trying to be like Meerabai .. I am not! Think of that,  Kanna, me  walking the streets , with your idol in my arms, singing and dancing..haha.. Krishna, don’t get me wrong.. I just don’t want others to think whatever it is..They just won’t get it, Madhava. And you can’t blame them. I mean, this is the 21^st century, not the 15^th. 

Yes, you put me in this world in the wrong century!

So, I was caught between being a little mad at you, at the same time a little happy too.. coz this means you heard my wish, right? Maybe you were making this happen? ( More like coincidence..I know, but it’s still nice to think like that :) )  But alas, my ‘’fall from grace” it was to be..

When my uncle asked me what kind of Krishna I wanted, and whether a slightly small one would be fin, what did I do? I had my doubts. I wanted my Krishna to be beautiful, and just the right size. I couldn’t decide if a small one would make me happy, I didn’t want to be disappointed when I finally got you. Result -> I didn’t get you.

There. Can I be more selfish? The reason I wanted you was so that I could please you more, not myself.. not my senses!  How can I even go about wondering if you’d be exactly as I desired or not? If I truly loved you, would I have done that? I was trying to capture your enchanting face in my ‘’never got it’’ idol..how can your face not be as I wanted…(God knows, I imagine you in a thousand different ways ) , when I set my eyes, filled with love , on you?  My claims just proved to be false; I placed more importance on me than you. Dearest Madhava, please remove such stupid thoughts from my mind, I hope one day I would be worthy of You.

Krishna, the Gopis prayed to you to place your lotus feet upon their body and rid their mind of all feelings of false pride and selfish desire. Hari, this unworthy girl requests you to do the same. Make me pure in thought, so that I’ll love you more each passing day of my life.  . Yours, X .

# 2 Dear Krishna,

It has been a while since I wrote to you here ( ie,  my diary) , but quite a lot has happened. The much awaited Guruvayur trip has come and gone . Now it is back to work, debugging etc.. So, I finally got you here, Krishna , in my home..as my sweet Krishna idol. Everyone here totally thinks you look amazingly sweet and beautiful ..that you look like Guruvayurappan himself , you know, like there is this specially adorable something about you.... Kahi lag na jaaye tujhe, Duniya ki poore nazar.. :) Yes, I love you too!

I love the fact that everyone else at my home thinks/ talks about you a little more now, as compared to earlier. And now its no secret that Krishna holds my heart  and Krishna,  I don’t ever want it back .  Kind of cheesy, I know , lol.

Okay , apart from that, work is getting to be really tiring. Hari, please solve that Mahasiva’s ( a client from work) issue tomorrow , or help me . I am sick of trying to get his taxes tallied, and trying to solve  the " Mystery of the Missing Documents ". And Indofil’s and Endurance's issue are pending too.. Why do I get such kind of issues? Hmm..

On a different note, I happened to come across this blog  of a devotee , in some remote location in the world . Krishna, I love it when someone far removed from here , ie India, someone in the Finnish countryside, is your devotee . Wow,,people like that are really inspiring in many ways . So Krishna, thanks for everything you continue to do for me and everything I have . As for these slight ‘ troubles’  in life ( read..Mahasiva’s unsolvable? Issue , etc ..) well , I’ll deal with that. Soo.. bye for now..Love you!