I wrote this long back, when I felt that I was too dependent on Krishna for my happiness and support ..and then the usual 'What if he's not real?' thoughts follow. I had enough of it. And this was my
attempt at a conclusion ( that i mentioned in my earlier post) . One that satisfies my mind at least :)
Dear Lord Krishna,
Why do my thoughts drift towards you so often? I am not even sure if you exist, or if you are just someone molded into the image of God, by people, since ancient times? Did they just make you up..
with all the qualities and beauty and love they imagined God would possess?
Or perhaps, you were just an ordinary person who lived in Dwapar Yug, maybe a King - Lord of Dwaraka - who possessed such charm .. a king loved greatly by his people? Did the saints and sages of your time adore you so much that they thought you were God? Or turned you into one?
God, if he exists at all, is he different from You? People from different religions imagine God in different ways..They all agree that he is the Supreme formless Brahman or the Universal Energy.
Even Krishna in his impersonal form is as such. But, if God could take a form, will it not be of Krishna's?
Madhava..i don't know. You may think that having all these doubts surely means that my faith, love and devotion to You is weak. Maybe so. But know this, dear Hari, even if i wanted to i cannot distance myself from you. I have tried. And i felt so empty, so strangely sad. I cant do it. I know only one thing for sure..I cannot exist without you , Krishna .
Krishna is as real as I am. If, after this life, i have no existence( as in , there is nothing more to life after death, no God etc) I would be okay with it. But, if I should have some form of existence, then I cannot do so without Krishna.
I guess the ideal form of God would be the one, the formless supreme soul , who would take different forms as their devotees worship him to be - as Jesus, Allah, Universe, ..or in the case of Krishna bhakts , as our beloved Krishna !
Let me live this life loving you as Krishna . That's all i ask.
Yours forever ,
Lost Gopi
attempt at a conclusion ( that i mentioned in my earlier post) . One that satisfies my mind at least :)
Dear Lord Krishna,
Why do my thoughts drift towards you so often? I am not even sure if you exist, or if you are just someone molded into the image of God, by people, since ancient times? Did they just make you up..
with all the qualities and beauty and love they imagined God would possess?
Or perhaps, you were just an ordinary person who lived in Dwapar Yug, maybe a King - Lord of Dwaraka - who possessed such charm .. a king loved greatly by his people? Did the saints and sages of your time adore you so much that they thought you were God? Or turned you into one?
God, if he exists at all, is he different from You? People from different religions imagine God in different ways..They all agree that he is the Supreme formless Brahman or the Universal Energy.
Even Krishna in his impersonal form is as such. But, if God could take a form, will it not be of Krishna's?
Madhava..i don't know. You may think that having all these doubts surely means that my faith, love and devotion to You is weak. Maybe so. But know this, dear Hari, even if i wanted to i cannot distance myself from you. I have tried. And i felt so empty, so strangely sad. I cant do it. I know only one thing for sure..I cannot exist without you , Krishna .
Krishna is as real as I am. If, after this life, i have no existence( as in , there is nothing more to life after death, no God etc) I would be okay with it. But, if I should have some form of existence, then I cannot do so without Krishna.
I guess the ideal form of God would be the one, the formless supreme soul , who would take different forms as their devotees worship him to be - as Jesus, Allah, Universe, ..or in the case of Krishna bhakts , as our beloved Krishna !
Let me live this life loving you as Krishna . That's all i ask.
Yours forever ,
Lost Gopi
Simply beautiful!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's like you took the words right out of my mouth! We are soooooo alike :)
Sometimes I too wonder if Krishna exists. For all I know, he could be formed out of someone's imagination. Then again, maybe not. Probably not. I really strongly believe in him, but sometimes, my faith waivers and I too doubt such. Perhaps its because I'm the only Krishna devotee I've physically met, and there is no person there to strengthen my hopes and love for God. Or maybe its because I've never seen Krishna physically. Yet somehow I always feel the hand of the divine playing a role in my life. It could be sheer imagination from my fickle mind, but whenever I even come close to denying Krishna's supreme divinity, my heart feels empty. My life feels void. Everything feels pointless. Before I knew about Krishna, I always wondered why things are the way they are, such as why people live, only to die again. And why small losses hurt so much. And why life feels so up-side-down all the time. But after I found out about Krishna, my life got a purpose... and that purpose is Krishna. I found someone who I can completely trust, someone I can love. Krishna. He has always been there for me, and although I haven't ever seen him, I know he's there, for without him, I couldn't have lived to see today.
Yeah, I think we must all have questioned Krishna's existence at one time or another. What if we are just deluding ourselves, right? But , we just cant stop loving him. Its beyond logic .
ReplyDeleteAnd once the eternal trapper has decided to trap us,..well..we don't really have a choice , do we ? :)
Yeah, sometimes it's hard to believe something without... like, seeing. I know, I sometimes doubt too. Yet if we start loosing faith, our life feels so sad and empty.... yes, indeed, it is beyond such.
Deletelol yeah, tis true. When Krishna has decided to steal our heart, what can we do but comply? Besides, even if we did have a choice.... well, I want to be trapped so much that I can never, ever get out! Jai Shri Krishna!!!!!